Yes, it's true. Only I have kept it a secret from my blog for the last two months. We have a sweet baby girl who is now 6 months old with us. I'm sorry, but I can't share pictures or her name on the blog, so I will call her Baby Sue or Little Sue on the blog (no relation to her real name). Initially the placement was supposed to be one week to one month, but now that we have had her for two months, we have been told that she will be with us at least another three. So let me answer the questions I'm sure you may have (basically these are the questions I have been asked already).
If you can't show us pictures, what does she look like?
She's chubby in all the right places, has BIG blue eyes and light brown hair that covers her head. She's got a more hair than peach fuzz, but not enough to put a barrette in yet. Of course, she is in good company since Olivia is 3 and still doesn't really have the hair for barrettes! Baby Sue is very cute!
Is she a good baby?
Oh yes! She sleeps through the night, eats well, and has a happy disposition almost all day (except when I am slow to getting her bottle ready, or one of the girls loves on her a little too much.) I've probably just jinxed myself!
Is she on track?
Yes, she is a rollie-pollie. She is sitting very well and pushes up on her hands quite well. She isn't on her hands and knees yet, but I can tell she is getting stronger with each day, and she isn't too far off.
Why is she in care?
This I can't tell you for confidentiality reasons, but I will say that her Mom and Dad are working to get their lives in a position where they can meet her needs again. Please don't judge them. I see them every week, and I realize that they haven't done everything right, but we all make mistakes. They have good desires.
Is there a chance you can adopt her?
Well, that depends on her Mom and Dad. Right now everything is up in the air. Basically, if her Mom and Dad do what is asked of them (which is reasonable), then yes, she will be reunited. If not, then yes, there is a chance that this could turn into adoptive situation. Nothing is final or certain until a judge deems it one way or another.
Do you hope you will get to adopt her?
Okay, now you have gotten to a hard one. Let's start with I
love her. I love her, and feel like she is one of my own children. All of us
love her. I wish I could post the pics of the kids with her, you would see it. I know Heavenly Father has placed her here at this time with us for a reason. I do not know if her placement will turn into eternity, but for now we are enjoying every minute of it. Do I hope we will get to adopt her? Why is this such a tricky question? Let's start with when we adopted J and O; we were
chosen by their parents. Adoption is what their parents
wanted for them. While the choice was bitter, it was by far even more sweet at the same time for all involved. With Baby Sue, in order for us to adopt, her parents will lose. They will lose the battle to keep her. It would not be their
choice. I would not wish such heartache on anyone. I do not wish it for them. So what am I praying for? I am praying that those who will be making decisions on Baby Sue's behalf will be guided to make the right decisions, and that ultimately we all find peace in that decision. It's in the Lord's hands.
Aren't you going to have a hard time giving her back? How are you going to do it?
I think this is the question I hear the most. First you should know we would never have become foster parents if we hadn't felt directed to do so. As we took the classes, we felt the spirit confirming that we were doing the right thing. Yes, I knew we were taking a risk that might bring heartache. But, at the same time I can say unequivocally that this has brought us great joy! I did not realize how hard this would be until Baby Sue was placed with us. Pretty much instantaneously I fell in love. I mean head over heels in love with her. It has become increasingly clear to me how hard this will be if she goes back to her parents. I have had three miscarriages in my life, and years of infertility. The one thing I want most is to be a mother to many. When Robby and I got married we talked about having 10 kids - no joke! I still would love that, but I am not sure that is part of the plan for our family. Here I have had another sweet baby placed in my arms. I have had weeks to love her, cuddle her, teach her, watch her grow, have her be mine. If she goes home, it will feel like I have lost another one. Only this time, I know the pain in my heart will be worse than my miscarriages because I personally know this little one. I have held her and loved her. I have told many that if she goes home, I will be in mourning. It will be the hardest thing I have ever experienced. Sometimes I have cried as I have thought of the possibility. How will I do it? With prayer and faith. I am trusting that the Lord knows what he is doing. I feel like that is what my life has been about. Learning to look to the Lord and say confidently, "Thy will, not mine be done." My life is not at all as I had it planned in my mind. By now I would have had 7 kids, but if it has been so, I wouldn't have Jenna or Olivia. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing. Without infertility, I wouldn't have known the incredible joy of adoption or met and seen what amazing people our daughters' birth parents are. I think one thing that gives me the faith that I can let go this time if that is what is asked of me is thinking about our daughters' birth parents and their courage in the face of pain. I know if Baby Sue goes home it will
hurt, but I do have faith that peace will come. So all I can say is that I am going to rely on Him.
I needed to get that off my shoulders. I have been carrying it in my heart for a while. Thanks for listening, or rather reading. If you have any other questions, I will answer what I can.
